Home Sick...

For the first time I'm going to post something which is personal and not just any experience of some gala time of my life. With these words of caution, I proceed with this...

I'm thought of as a person who does not have any nostalgic moments. To put it simply, I'm the one who people think is never home sick. I don't know the reason why they accuse me of this. Probably because I never publicly express my desire to meet my folks at home or talk something which the others consider as being "home sick". So this post here is going to be a written acknowledgement of the fact that even I feel home sick and miss my family...

Today, it's just any other day in the office...doing some self-study (as now no real work pressure is there), chatting with people, checking mails and reading those forwards et al... In the middle of my grueling schedule, reading one of those hundreds of forwarded mails caught my attention. It was something describing the greatness of the "Mother". And as a result of that, here I am writing this.

All those people who accuse me of not being "home sick" might just put another allegation on me saying that I need triggers to get excited about this whole thing. What I feel is that this feeling of "home sickness" doesn't come to you naturally, there has to be a trigger. Let's say, some not-so-tasty bite reminds you of the home food...A fever or illness reminds you of the care and the attention that you get so effortlessly, if you happen to be at home. Sometimes, even seeing people heading to their home-towns acts as a trigger. Well, with this I remember that two of my friends are leaving for their homes today...and I simply say, "I wish.."

But I can't do much about this yearn to go home or to meet my parents, as I'm still pretty new in the company where I'm working and can't possibly take offs for many days. Besides, making a confession here, I haven't yet saved much to buy gifts for my people there at home. And I tell you, a token of love in the form of any memento bought from my first salary or my own earned money, is very much expected.

Holi is approaching and I so wished if I were able to celebrate it this time with my family, a thing that I haven't done for the past 5 years. It's easy to console oneself by saying, "I'm used to it now"...But actually, this is just an excuse for one's inability. I think, such a reason works better with the parents who say, "we have got used to it now.." But neither of such reasons is valid at any end. People at both the ends are just trying to rename and re frame their inabilities to meet each other. And such a logic doesn't work at all. In the heart of the heart, there is this feeling of disgust of not able to make it this time also...but I hope that I'll make it someday. And probably then I would erase this post.

Disclaimer: This is not written to entertain its readers. I'm sorry if it leaves a sour taste in your mouth.